Join Père Ubu in the Order of the Sacred Veil of Miranda.

Marital Status:  Single Married Divorced Widowed

Are you a Jew?  Yes No

Are you planning on converting to Catholicism?:  I am already a Catholic Yes No, I don't believe in God

Do you attend Mass at least once a week on Sunday?     Yes No

Do you worship the Devil in drunkun sex-soaked orgies? Yes No

Are you able live without sex with women?  Yes No

If no please specify a time frame for how long:   Within about a day 1 month 2 months 3 months

Are you willing to travel anywhere in the world? Yes No

Preferred region of the world for travel:

Europe South America Amsterdam Las Vegas Anywhere except Canada

Do you have any children?  Yes NoMaybe, who know?

Do you know how to dance the Macarena?  Yes No

Do you spend money on drugs?  Yes No

If so, how much per year?  Under $5000 Over $5000 Over $20,000 Over $50,000 and up

Have you ever been arrested for a felony?  Yes No

Educational Background: Kindergarten 5th Grade College I ain't been to no school

I'm primarily attracted to communities that are mainly devoted to (click one):

Making Money

Preaching

Growing Turnips

Military Priesthood

Sin

The Hermit Life

Youth Ministry

Moonlight walks on the beach and romantic dinners at fancy restaurants

How do you describe Père Ubu:

Saint Who? Idiot Pervert

[Your answers to the following questions will help us serve you better:]

What size monastery you feel you are best suited for?  Small (15 members or less) Medium (15-35 members) I prefer to live alone

Is it essential for you that the monks wear underwear?   Yes No No Preference

Would you be willing to give all your money to Père Ubu?   Yes Of course Without a doubt

For the sake of graciously serving Christ, His Church, and His people, it is the mission of Père Ubu to replenish every Roman Catholic religious community and diocese in the world. By filling out this application you are stating that you are open to participation in the fulfillment of this mission.